Not Dead, Yet

Hey Gang,

So if there’s anyone out there who–for whatever reason–kept up with this blog, I just wanted to drop a line to say it’s pretty much kaput. I was finally tempted enough to move over to tumblr. and I’ve found their quicker posting/sharing options a lot more appealing. The Bond Rewatch is done–all though I never finished the columns, I did successfully rewatch all the flicks, so that’s something. I think the only thing I’ll be taking with me over to the new tumblr. is the blu-ray write-up and even that will be a bit different.

So that’s it. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed my thoughts and rants. You can find me at andrewfromfatsuit.tumblr.com from now on.

Be Well,

Andrew from Fat Suit

Bond Rewatch #6 :: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service — Peter R. Hunt, director; with George Lazenby as James Bond

Okay, I realize that it’s been months since the last Bond write-up and, again, I only have myself to blame. The problem with attempting to rewatch all twenty-two Bond flicks in one year is that it just gets tiring. No offense to the series, but stuff just starts to get repetitive. Bond gets in trouble briefly but quickly gets out of it; credits roll; the bad guys commit some heinous crime; Bond gets his mission; Bond travels to an exotic location; Bond sleeps with a random girl who may or may not be evil…and so on and so forth. So it’s understandable that after a fashion, a guy just wants to put something else in the ye olde blu-ray player. So for the past two months I’ve been occupying myself with things like the works of R.W. Fassbinder, movies with villains named Khan and even subjected myself to, shudder to think, Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Kill me.  So now I’m back in the swing of things and re-starting this column anew and with a brand new Bond to boot! I give you the one-hit-wonder, GEORGE LAZENBY!

Get It On Blu-Ray? :: Predator

Some people still don’t understand what the big deal is about Blu-ray. Well at this point I can’t help them. But what I can do is write about discs I’ve checked out and recommend whether or not it’s worth your extra cash to pick up the Blu-ray disc or stick with the standard DVD version and put that extra scratch toward some beer or medical bills or whatever you see fit.

This…is ‘Get It On Blu-Ray?’

Like so many of my impulse purchases, a few weeks back my wallet fell victim to another careless addition to my home video library. Yes, I picked up the Arnold Schwarzenegger jungle classic, Predator. There it was, just sitting on the shelf basically begging me to pick it up and toss it in the cart. My own selfless Christmas shopping be damned, I took this sweet temptress home with me that very afternoon.I honestly should’ve been asking myself if I really needed Predator in my library at all, let alone on Blu-ray. But you never know, one day I could wake up and decide I really need to watch a movie that has lots of explosions and where a former Minnesota governor calls a group of men “slack-jawed faggots” for turning down his offer to try chewing tobacco. In which case if I didn’t own Predator I’d probably be shit out of luck.

Bond Rewatch #5 :: You Only Live Twice

You Only Live Twice — Lewis Gilbert, director; with Sean Connery as James Bond

It’s always awkward when I start writing these because so far all of the Bond write-ups start with, “So-and-so returns to direct another action-packed James Bond epic…” or something as equally lackluster.  I’m only at the fifth film now and already I’m running out of gas. Not a good sign. Another bad sign is that it’s been about a month since the last Bond write-up. Boo-urns. But nevertheless I’ll push on through and see if I can make it out the other side alive.

My First Note On ‘Angel’

Pathetically, it’s been almost a month since my last post, the Bond Rewatch of Thunderball. Now that summer is winding down, hopefully I’ll get back in the swing of things. There must be something about oppressive, disgusting, cut-through-it-with-a-knife humidity that makes someone not want to do a damn thing. I’ve got the rest of the Bond Rewatch to finish as well as some ideas for on-going columns relating to my pathetically large (and generally un-watched) DVD collection. In any case, I’ll try harder. Thanks for listening. Now on with the reading!

Bond Rewatch #4 :: Thunderball

Thunderball  — Terence Young, director; with Sean Connery as James Bond

Master Bond director, Terence Young, returns for this incredibly explosive and hilariously gadget-filled Bond installment. After re-watching this gem from 1965, I remembered how absolutely ludicrous the film is and just how wonderfully it winds up working out in the end.

The story is another madcap international farce that finds Bond trying to recover two NATO nuclear weapons that were stolen by who else? SPECTRE. The top secret terrorist organization is this time holding the arms as ransom in exchange for a ton of diamonds. Once the diamonds are received, SPECTRE promises to not use the nuclear weapons to destroy a city either in England or the United States; the city that’s at risk turns out to be Miami.  Bond heads to the Bahamas (where the weapons are being kept) and is forced to match wits with SPECTRE’s number two agent, Emilio Largo.

Bond Rewatch #3 :: Goldfinger

Goldfinger — Guy Hamilton, director; with Sean Connery as James Bond

The third film in the Bond fanchise came as 1964’s Goldfinger and is the first film in the franchise to see a change in director. Terence Young was out and seasoned English director, Guy Hamilton was in. This was Hamilton’s first of four Bond pictures that he would direct. Not that Hamilton is a better director than Young, but he is certainly on par. Goldfinger is an incredibly fun Bond film and one with probably one of the most memorable villains, Auric Goldfinger.

The 5 Most Awkward Sequel Setups of All Time

We’ve all seen it happen.  You’re watching a movie that for the most part is pretty fucking terrible. You sit there and watch the atrocious acting or listen to the awful dialogue; you let out long-winded sighs as characters bounce around on screen making terrible decisions and when plot twists come you could give two shits. After a fashion you glance at your watch and you notice that finally! the movie has got to be coming to an end. Yes, yes this loose, all-over-the-place excuse for a story seems to be winding down! And then just before this useless piece of box-office diarrhea cuts to black there’s one last shot, one last line of dialogue that makes you go, “Well, that was a little presumptuous.” I’m talking about the awkward sequel set up. They usually happen in films where the studios think they’ve got such box office gold on their hands that they can have the audacity to hint at a sequel right at the last second of the first film. Of course this ultimately blows up in their faces and the films are never made. Here are five examples where this really stands out, sometimes to hilarious degrees. SPOILERS AHEAD!

Jack White Makes Things [Musically] Better

It’s true, Jack White does make things better. Musically speaking to be more specific. I’m not sure he’d be too much help fixing a car or babysitting, but at least musically he makes things better. Take his latest project: The Dead Weather. A pseudo-super group fronted by Alison Mosshart (one half of The Kills), The Raconteurs’ bassist Jack Lawrence, Dean Fertita from the best underrated band around, Queens of the Stone Age, and finally Jack himself on drums and vocals. Now, if it’s one thing that is terribly uncool it’s drummers who sing, but with White behind the kit the stereotypical “uncool drummer/singer” is something that obviously doesn’t exist.

The new record from this latest White formation is called “Horehound” and it’s packed with real crunchy guitar, steadfast drums and pounding bass. Nothing here is too fast–there’s certainly no “Fell in Love with a Girl” style track on here–but everything has this groove to it that’s incredibly appealing. One of the two singles, “I Cut Like a Buffalo” is this reggae-influenced, head nodding jam that really stands out from the line-up of eleven tracks.

Bond Rewatch #2 :: From Russia With Love

From Russia with Love — Terence Young, director; with Sean Connery as James Bond

The great Bond Rewatch of 2009 continues with From Russia with Love, the 1963 sequel to the hugely successful Dr. No.  Like the challenge posed to all film sequels, the second Bond film needed to be bigger, faster and have greater action than the previous one and there really was no better director to take on the task than Terence Young, the masterful director who understood Ian Fleming’s vision of the Bond world and had already proven himself more than capable while directing Dr. No. The film also saw the return of Sean Connery as Bond of course; a role that he would continue to rule over for three more films until giving it up to an unknown, Australian model. More on that in a few weeks.